The moment she stepped on the land, to check out the place where they will be potentially living, there was no turning back. She felt home. Yet she tried to deny it. As it was so very different from everything she has ever known from before. Tried to protest against it, even semi-faked a terrible bad mood to distract the attention. Semi, because she recognised it quite soon that it was just the programming. Automatisms. Fears. Excuses. To distract. To hold back. To keep everything under control... Haha, so pathetic. And so hard to recognise.
But eventually, she listened to her feelings... She's been practising it for some time now. They emerged with a supernatural power to help her win the battle of truth over her mind. They always show up in the right moment. And they are always right...
Today I started the day early. Benefits of the jet lag. :) We have been away for some time. We were back home. And now we are back home. Evergreen paradox of the global living, switching countries, switching lives. :)
As I was walking down the beach this morning, I felt incredibly peaceful. I missed this beach. The beach that means in a way home to me for the last year. The smell of the sea, the sound of the waves, the morning sun. The space. The energy. The ocean bliss. And all the relaxed feelings it comes with. People taking it easy. Having a walk. Happy doggies running around, playing in the water. A total no stress attitude. A total slow down. Living the moment. It was good to be away a bit, and to look at it again, with a fresh eye.
One year. It's been one whole year. One whole year since the moment we sat on that plane. Excitement in the air. Smile on our face. Destination - Magical, fascinating, breathtaking. New Zealand. :) Time to reflect!
My love to travel. To be on the road over and over again. A way of life. And sensations born within.
Travelling. Short term. Long term. Alone, with friends, with family. To the shop around the corner. To the end of the world. Across cultures, continents. To a destination. Through a stage of life.
Travelling genuinely shapes me. Been on the road my entire life.
But what does travelling really give me?
I have been trying to find the best way to express how I have been feeling recently. To put it in words. To write it down. To make it "tangible". To visualise it. To see it clearly in front of me, with my own eyes. To better understand it. To truly embrace it.
Guess what I came up with?! :)
Today I got inspired by haircuts. It was just one of those girly moments, like:
"OK, I seriously need a haircut!"
Thanks God hairbands exist. I bet every woman can relate. I bet every new Mom can relate even more. When you wake up in the morning, and just nothing seems so right. Then comes the hairband and solves all your problems. Well almost, temporarily. Hmm, the colour is so no colour. Hmm, those curls just don't curl the right way. Hmmm, I don't want those curls cos they look so bad once I comb them. But if I don't comb, it looks like I seriously need to wash my hair. Seriously? But I have no time right now... And then comes your best friend, the hairband, and gives you a "hair lift" :
For many many years I had this drive in me. Or let's just call it a compulsion to conform. I always wanted to be someone. Not just anyone. Someone. When I got to be that someone, there was another someone to be again. I thought it is important to want to be someone. I always thought I had to be someone. I always thought I am someone.
To prove myself and the world that I can do it. To feel important and to feel better. Better than others. Better than myself? To get acknowledged for all my efforts. To get reassured that I am doing the right thing. To be happy?!
Confidence. Self-confidence. A very sensitive, challenging, and incredibly interesting topic of self discovery…
What makes someone confident? Look, act, but first and foremost, truly FEEL confident. Deep inside. Solid, as a rock. Beautiful and unique as each and every seashell on the shore.
What makes you believe in yourself? Believe that you are worth it? That you are good enough? That you are doing it right? Despite comments, despite pressure, despite “good practices”, despite trying to do everything at your best, sometimes consuming every single bit of your energy and at the end not even finding the so-wanted, liberating. Relief. Acknowledgment. Appraisal. Merit. Love. You name it.
This week's Binspi is a truly special one for me. As it reflects so many feelings within.
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Lao-Tze
First of all I really love this quote. :) I find it absolutely inspiring. Lao-Tze really got it right back then... Probably he liked walking, too :)
Second, it's been a month now that BinspiratioNZ is up and running on the World Wide Web :) and thanks to you all, it received over 3200 hits already!!! It makes me feel super happy, excited and even more inspired to share more with you :)
Third, it reflects my plunge into a REAL REAL journey - step by step. A journey of discovering the most amazing place in the world - a true little gem in this globe, amazing beaches, breathtaking nature, sunrises/sunsets, friendly people and... yes, one of the most interesting and yet toughest of all, a little bit more... about myself.
One week ago we were still in Europe. Unbelievable. I am not sure if I am fully aware of the situation yet. We really made it! We DID move to New Zealand!!! After all these months of dreaming, planning, preparing, here we are. Enjoying the views of the most beautiful beaches of the world.
The first days flew by. Arrival. Jet lag. Trying to sleep. Trying to sleep back. Traveling a bit. Organizing our new life. Getting around. Phone. Bank. And the others... And we still have some big challenges ahead - finding a car and a place to stay. To call it a new home. Far away from home...
“One’s destination is never a place but a new way of seeing things.”~ Henry Miller
I find this quote very relevant at this moment of my life. Traveling and moving to a new place opens your eyes, opens your soul. It gives you a new perspective. It gives you wings to fly, to discover. The world, the others, yourself... And... sooner or later, it also places you out of your comfort zone. To contemplate, meditate, reflect. And thus make you grow.
I have been traveling all my life. Moved to a new place, to a new country several times. I learned to cope with change, although it was very hard at the beginning. Changing homes, changing environments, changing lifestyles, changing school, changing work, changing colleagues, changing friends, changing basically everything. You leave things behind that make you feel secure. Not easy at all.
But it made me stronger. Now I just love it. In a way it sets me free. It makes me stretch my boundaries. And learn something new every day.
Settling in. Adjusting. It takes time. Energy. Effort. First joy and then pain (or vice versa). First, everything is super exciting, new, full of new impressions. Then comes the time when you realize you have a culture shock, you are homesick, you miss your environment that you are so used to. You get frustrated and don't find your place. It happens to everyone, I would think even to the most experienced travellers. Just a question of time.
Many people asked us how are we so brave (or "crazy") to make this big move. How on earth? To leave to the other end of the world. In kilometres and time. Far from home, family, friends. Plunging in to the unknown and insecure and undefined. Leaving a relatively comfortable life behind. With a small baby.
We just wanted to follow our dreams. Not to wait until we grow old and regret that we have never done it. We fell in love with this country some years ago. The nature, the laid back lifestyle, the love for outdoors, work-life balance, the people. And it is a perfect time in our life to make this move. Now or never. We planned it. Prepared it. Saved for it. Drew up the pros and cons. Weighed the scale and made some tough compromises. And yes, ultimately followed our dreams!!!
This moving really put me out of my comfort zone. I spent the last few days trying hard to reflect upon it... I knew it will be like that. And I wanted it. I just didn't think it will come so fast. Maybe it is because I am also traveling an inner journey of deeper self discovery. Maybe it is also because it is the first time that I am moving abroad as a wife and a mother, not as "me". Maybe it is because of the huge jet lag.
I wonder where this dream, this journey will take me. Exciting, isn't it?
All inspired by a cup of tea...
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