The moment she stepped on the land, to check out the place where they will be potentially living, there was no turning back. She felt home. Yet she tried to deny it. As it was so very different from everything she has ever known from before. Tried to protest against it, even semi-faked a terrible bad mood to distract the attention. Semi, because she recognised it quite soon that it was just the programming. Automatisms. Fears. Excuses. To distract. To hold back. To keep everything under control... Haha, so pathetic. And so hard to recognise.
But eventually, she listened to her feelings... She's been practising it for some time now. They emerged with a supernatural power to help her win the battle of truth over her mind. They always show up in the right moment. And they are always right...
The excitement of her family definitely helped. Big smiles, happy vibes since the very first moment. The husband was already planning his duck farm around the veggie garden. The baby was running around from room to room, giggling loudly and practising random yoga postures she loved so much to show off her good mood. And those wild goats running around, well, priceless. She could not not notice. And it filled her heart with enormous joy.
But it was still there. This nasty little voice in her head. "How on Earth do you think you will manage it here? In the middle of nowhere? Where will you go if you want to get busy? You won't be able to escape. You can't do this. This is not for you. You won't have neighbours to hang out with. Maybe some cows... And it's not even by the beach you wanted so much... Have you already forgotten? You came here to live by the beach, right? And the only place you can walk here is to the bush. Maybe to the river. Definitely not to grab a takeaway lunch if you don't feel like cooking. And yes, you will have to drive. Drive everywhere. You heard me. You! Drive. Haha. The best joke I've ever heard..."
Then, some days passed. She tried not to think about it. She tried to forget it. She convinced herself that yes, this is not it. Absolutely not it. Well, almost... And then something happened. Suddenly, a moment. The moment. The moment of realisation. That actually, yes, this is the one and only thing that sounds 100 % right right now. No matter what. And yes, she will do it. She will give it a go. She checked pros and cons. And then, she took every single worry of hers, one by one, and observed. And then let them go...
Everything was green. Incredibly green. Two weeks passed, and her blue reality started to mix with the green. From ocean to the woods. Yet the presence and perseverance of the water remained, with the river nearby. And the clouds still going by, high up in the sky. And the blue moon. And the shooting stars...
She didn't mind. Mind, at all! She was so so grateful. And proud. Of herself. That she trusted. Herself, her intuition, her instincts, and her family. She felt free. And she let go. Let go of so many unnecessary heavy burdens off her shoulder. Again.
She could see the forest, the mountains from the huge windows. And interestingly, a memory of her beloved forest, from long long time ago... The sunrise. Worth to wake up to. And the sunset, over the horizon. Just like in her dreams...
She could hear the river. The song of the birds. The sound of the breeze and the leaves' dance.
She could smell. Smell the air, despite her bad sense of smell. Has her nose suddenly just cleared out with all her pain in past tense, she wondered... She smelled the freshness of the spring. The flowers, the grass.
She suddenly felt alive. Alive, more than ever. And so very different from the alive before...
~ My Farm Diaries ~
A story of a big city girl who decided to follow her heart, her intuitions,
face her fears, step out of her comfort zone, and check out a radically different lifestyle than ever before.
Surrounded by the wild. Turning into a forest fairy in the countryside.
To be continued…
If you are curious - just as I am - how this story unfolds, please check back later :)
***Got inspired? So happy if you share ;)
Join me on Facebook!
Sharing my passion for photography, New Zealand, nature, and a journey within.
See the Beauty. Let it shine!
© COPYRIGHT BinspiratioNZ 2015-2017. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
This website and its original content is copyright of BinspiratioNZ. All pictures taken by me unless otherwise stated. Happy if you share, and thanks for marking the original source :)